Showing Young Kids Love

Kids soak up love like little sponges. Kids can tap a parent’s love faucet from dawn to dusk..and then some, still thirsty for more love.

By days end, I am tired. Just the thought of putting more of myself out there to help others is daunting. So with a selfish heart for love, I wanted to figure out a way to serve my kids the “best” way I could with hating the whole process. Being asked to speak at two Mothers of Preschoolers meetings, about this topic, also motivated me to learn more about living a life of love.

Here are some quick ideas I threw together after reading The Five Love Languages for Kids book.

Gifts

• Offer small items in big (Oh, look a pirate rope! Just what your ship needed! i.e. twine) ways (pencil, twine, stick of gum, paper bookmark, one iTunes song)
• Take care in the presentation of gift wrapping
• Handmade can be just as cherished as store bought (think little zippered pouches, doll clothes, family photo)
• Location! Location! Location! Gifts can be thoughtfully placed at the end of a scavenger hunt; surprisingly placed on the car seat; or simply tucked in a sweatshirt pocket.

Quality Time

• Turn off distractions. If mobile devices grip you away from being in the moment with your kids…turn it off. Say no to facebook and yes to your kids. (Use your technology if it is how you are choosing to spend quality time with your child.)
• Use active listening skills. Yes, you know the ones. Eye contact, I hear that you are saying…, Tell more about…,
• Find a favorite activity you child loves and love it too. Yes, Dads can play dress-ups with Barbies and Moms can line up cars according to their wheel size.
• Try a “Just Me” date with your child if you have multiple kids. Showering attention and focused energy on a kid solo can go a long way in a big family.

Acts of Service

• Allowing your child to help you with something next to or with you can actually help them feel loved. Plan ahead for extra time and messes but praise your child for their teamwork.
• Use the power of play. Serve your little ones with play food and clean their pretend cars
• Talk is Cheap! Or is it? You are doing many acts of service in routine life–tell them why! Carefully avoid the guilt complex and use a friendly tone. “Look how thoughtfully Mommy is hanging up your winter things to dry so they will be a toasty for you later. I love being able to help you have warm things when you need them.“

Words of Affirmation

• Use story-telling for a dramatic way to encourage your child. “Once upon a time there was a brave knight named Ryan who…”
• Praise can be repetitive. Use a new affirming phrase everyday for a month! “You are a super star” “I believe in you” “I love you” “You found the way!”
• Talk kindly about your kids to others while they are in ear shot.
• Write affirming notes and tuck them lunches, mirrors, and nightstands

Physical Touch

• Cuddle time with a special blanket, back scratches at bedtime and hugs before school/daycare
• Proximity may be more important than actual touch. Playing in the same room (doing different things)
• Get down to their level for important talks.
• Open your arms more and cross them less. Body language is key! Be available for tugs for hugs.
• Play with them too. Get physical, silly and interact! Roll in the snow, ride your old bike, sit in the grass with them to show love.

I am still finding my kids’ love languages. And they are changing every so often anyway so I just try to shower them with all 5!

Happy Loving to you!

Jess